Journal Entry 4/16

“Have you ever lived? It may sound like a strange question out of context, but it is a valid one…. Have you ever lived?  Sometimes living is about sunsets with a glass of wine, a starlit evening with a warm breeze, friends with a pleasant surprise… Sometimes it is about aching feet, empty wallets, empty arms, and a lack of laughter.

   Have you ever died? Have you ever torn yourself apart, and burned down your last remaining wall with wild abandon, and a heathenistic battle cry? My thoughts are gasoline thrown onto an already raging inferno… With a mighty WHOOSH I am consumed in this moment… devoured fully and completely, until all that remains is a pile of ashes and the quiet sound of the river.

   Sitting here with my ass planted on a cold rock, feeling the hot sun, I am dancing in rage… Like a ballerina with a dagger… My blade is sharp and steady as I make the incision… Cutting out all those broken pieces and bleeding words all over my pages.

   Yes, it may be a crowded mental moment, and you may not understand my metaphor, but I could care less… These words are not for you to understand, they are for me to purge.

   Do you find beauty in such destruction?”

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6 thoughts on “Journal Entry 4/16

  1. Lumpia2

    It has been too long since I have seen the beauty in destruction. Too busy worrying, I forgot to tell myself to slooooowww down. No sorrys necessary.

    Like

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