In the soft sound of a sigh in the darkness, is contained a perfect description of my current state of mind. A flutter of pages as my book is flung to the floor, and a sharp crack as my pen is bent in two… No more.
No more will my thoughts wander into your hunting ground, and the ink speak secrets into the night… No more.
I have yearned, dreamed, hoped madly for a second chance, and been met by only stony silence in your gaze.
I cannot- I will not- bare my throat to your murderous smile. I will not give the best of me, only to see it trampled on and cast away.
There are many pieces of me that have been stolen now, sacrificed to the fickle God of friendship, but there are still plenty bits left to perform the required function.
I no longer sing that song to myself, I no longer smile when you cross my mind. Instead I sharply turn away from my own impossible wanting, clutching my chest and the wound still seeping there.
So strange, you know… All I ever wanted was respect, perhaps a hug on a cold winter night. Apparently these things terrify you too much.
I may not hum your tunes, but my heart still remembers how you felt there… I wonder, is there a hole in your own heart that bares my name?