“It seems like just yesterday, everyone asked me ‘What are you gonna be for Halloween?’. Now they ask me ‘Where are you going to go for Thanksgiving?. I didn’t have an answer for the former question, and I most certainly don’t have one for the latter.
I don’t celebrate Halloween, but I do acknowledge All Hallows. I love Thanksgiving , but haven’t had a good one for several years now. I usually hijack a friend’s kitchen for the day and force mass amounts of really good food upon them, while inflicting them with extremely groovy music played at a high volume… It has been five years since I was able to do this.
I will likely go to my sister’s house, because she will force me to, and she will inflict all of her good food on ME. This is wonderful, and she makes a good espresso, but I wish it were my kitchen to rule over.
This is by no means the end of it, either, you take my word for it. Before long they will be talking about Christmas, and very upset when they don’t get any presents from me. I will be hounded at every turn by disgusting music full of jingling bells and sleigh rides, while a St. Nick imposter seeks to collect my change outside of every store front.
‘Buy things!’ says the radio, and everybody does.
Perhaps I will leave apples on their doorstep for the Holly King (on christmas eve). Or leave eggs for Ostara (easter) and phallic symbols and sweet grass wreaths on the summer Solstice… I could go on. I wonder if they would feel compelled to learn about my religion to accommodate me as I have done for them… I doubt it. They would likely be insulted, or think of it like some twisted form of a ‘watchtower’ pamphlet on their front steps.
I think I will just keep my religion to myself, and try not to force it on anyone or commercialize it on their television, or post it on a billboard.
Still, they keep asking me that question, and it is really beginning to wear on me… What WILL I do to give thanks this year? With whom shall I break my bread and share my wine?”