Waiting It Out

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This miasma, foul air
Vapor from the shameless exhales of chatter
Pollute my lungs with every patient breath
Leaving a residential tar more cloying
Than this cigarette, or any other
Crutch I have leaned upon

In these eyes lurk a feral glow of savagery
Are you so blind that you would smooth my jagged shape with polish
Because I’m blurry about the edges, and ill-defined?

Do you think adjusting your gaze intently
Will alter the reality of my flesh and bone?

I will meet you here naked in the golden light of dawn
Bare, shameless in my possession of flesh
This moment is mine, immersed in solitude
Yet no walls defend my gratifying silence

I would welcome the song of two heart beats dancing
While this rain whispers “yes” to every denial
Opposing each fear you unwittingly buried
Or uttered with shame in that silence you covet

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Arise

Laying here saturated, wet with dew
As dawn lends your countenance a golden hue
In the mind’s eye glistens, a devious dream
As an animal in moonlight, they furtively gleam

Hunting, watchful, I am tasting the trail
Left by the passing of those who prevailed
Reaching for depths where others have drowned
Knowing it is in ignorance that knowledge is found

This universe is greater than one mind can hold
But I will grasp the stars if I learn to be bold
Fearlessness is for fools who don’t know of demons
Bravery is for the ones who face them with reason

My sword is a pen, my shield is a page
I will fight with love and never with rage
With a heart flayed open, eyes turned to the sky
One day my spirit will learn to fly

For The Mothers

For Simon

When I first held you
Red, wet and beautiful
Felt the breath in your small body
Looked into those eyes
Seeking and clouded
As you turned for the first time
To the sound of my voice
I knew then, why I came here

I felt a shifting within me
Deeper than I ever knew
Or believed myself capable
Of an emotion so tangible
That it physically gripped me
In my once lonely heart
And in that wordless moment
I gave you my soul

All the strength I possess
Every lesson hard won
Is a gift for you
To lead you onward
In your pursuit of dreams
And a life lived well

You are my sun and moon
My horizon, my ocean
I vow always to guide you
With empathy and honesty
To be your port in the storms
That will surely try to sink you
As your vessel sails
The swells and sorrows
Of love and learning

I am a Mother, a mountain
Your mirror and your sword
The day you came into my life
I became two people
Growing larger inside
Making space for your laughter
In the hollow places
Where once only sadness
Lay silent and serpentine

We make a circle, this family
Connected by threads
Gossamer yet unbreakable
Invisible, intangible
And more beautiful than a sunrise
On the first day of Spring

Lost Ones, Found

Lost Ones, Found

Rain washes me clean
Though I am dry in the lee
Of this porch, of the wind
Of a past I rescind
This moment is mine
The echo, a sign
That my hollow places
Scars and traces
Are not so far behind
That they cease to bind
Although I am learning
This glorious burning
Feeds decadence and decay
The way we all pray
To our own saving grace
In our own silent place
Where we confront our story
Beside transcendence, and glory
So I write, to spite
Darkness and light
Recalling that society
And also piety
Are constructs of fear
Divinity is near
Not found in perspective
Or a comfortable elective
Your soul is your own
A struggle, wisdom grown
From all that you were
Those paths that diverged
Led you unerringly here
There is no need to fear
Be all that you are
An unnamed star
Shine alone, while those deride
For it is in solace that you reside
where you most presently become
A contribution to the sum

 

Reflection

The smile that is reflected in the mirror has a twist, an unintentional smirk
At the irony of life, how our light
Is found on the darkest inner pathways we walk

To be honest with yourself is a monumental effort requiring bravery
Facing your demons with nothing to arm yourself with but a sharp wit and steel spine
Perhaps that is what makes you… Or breaks you

We all slip on our assent up the mountains within us
To persevere or to surrender is one of the few choices we possess
In this world revolving, spinning madly in a void
Of space we maintain around the orbits of others

Rain On The Windows to My Soul

It is a long road, full of shadows and leaves glowing with golden sunlight
It is full of laughter that makes your eyes water, and tears that wet your cheeks and drown your inner voices
It is scattered with thorns and flower petals

She loves me, she loves me not…

Now the leaves of the oak tree will illustrate
How beautiful it can be to fall
From our own heights attained, we tumble
And in this way, we learn our lessons

Leaving only footprints in the groves, or ribbons in the boughs
We travel onward as a wind,
Who whispers in the meadow

Others pass us by like clouds
Bearing a welcome shade or a violent storm
We wear the marks of their passing in our blooms courted by bees
Or trampled with tempest
But always the world turns and the time will come
To risk it all in withering, sending forth our seeds
Seeking root elsewhere in those fertile soils
Of friends we have yet to meet

When We were Stars

Sometimes I think it would be easier if we could be alone, but alas, we are an animal that craves the comfort of its own kind. Because of this, we are constantly giving up small pieces of ourselves, and filling those empty spaces with the pieces of another. Constantly compromising ourselves for the company of others who, despite their love, are cloying and ignorant of the stars behind your eyes.

So you attempt to bank your inner fire so you don’t burn others, but in loosing the flame you have lost the heat. Desperately you reach for the warmth of another, even as your heart craves the solace of mountains.

Struggling to maintain a balance between empathy and entropy, you age slowly in the privacy of your pages, recalling the nights when you shone fiercely in the darkness, burning with prose, and others made wishes upon your light.