I Am A Rose With Many Thorns

Once, winter cut through me, despite my layers
Like a knife in my back that was undeserved
I bled on my long walk homeward, soiling the snow
Ice condensed on the toes of my boots, the ends of my long hair,
Swished and scratched across my collar
There was sorrow there, in darkness
Where I did not use my flashlight

I drank a few beers to distract from my distress, but still, that road was long and quiet
I would find myself speaking Shakespeare and Masefield into the darkness
Warding off bears and and other musk-scented demons from the shadows of my mind
With poetry…

With solace and metaphor

Yet still I was haunted with echoes, as if it were a ghost
And not the memory of those words that hounded me

My time here is limited, these lessons are sacred
Moments when Will becomes stronger than weeping

My own heartbeat, my own silence teaches more
Than any book I have ever read

HERE I am, in this moment of Aloha
I see how my path has led me to the sea
As I knew it would, for I am liquid…
Now I must learn to SEE with these new eyes
To be as open as the horizon that surrounds this island

I remember the lessons so dearly won
Never again will I give until my heart breaks with sadness
For one who enjoys being broken

The emotion that I am feels the tide, pushing me outward
Challenging the solidity of a grounded theory

I know the storm has just begun,
This blessing of rain
Must water me, even amidst the deluge
For I am the floods of Autumn, the cleansing destruction
Quenching those who thirst for that bare naked truth
Found only in the depths where sharks are swimming
This is my Power, I am a river, and sometimes it is difficult to see the current
Before it rips away your careless footing
And it’s ass over teakettle into the flow

I may talk too much but I never speak lightly
So believe me when I say;
I cannot lift you up if you won’t take my hand
I will never be your crutch or carry your weight
I am walking the path of my own making, leave your judgement at the door or don’t come in

Now go blaze your own trail into the ominous night
Search among your shadows for a glimmer of light
Make friends with the ever present fear and desire
Until you burn with your own inner wisdom and fire

For-H

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Backyard Reflections

IMG_0679Back yard reflections

Of a squirrel’s scolding

Or the painted crown moldings

My hands and knees black with earth

 

Wages paid in callouses

Long stretches of back road

Poetry, my heavy load

Each step a drum- beat rhythm

 

Alone, I was a mountain

Beaten by the wind

Growing thicker skin

Storm dancing, in solitude

 

Those are the moments that make you

With heart wide open, wanting

At all the world’s beauty flaunting

Leaping from your own peaks, to soar

 

A good place to learn your power

When silence begs introspection

Noting the fractal, the inflection

Teaching your ears to see and your eyes to paint

 

Yet I shall never return

To valleys of red cedar and pine

That passive state of mind

I would rather be a Tiger, than a Rose

 

 

 

*this was my view on the back porch today, and the reflections of the Lilly and the sky shimmering slightly with the wind made me… reflective.

I wrote this about my childhood in the Cascade Mountains of Washington

Call From An Old Friend

 

Yes i do

Remember  you

when the dark demands an honest hue

 

I danced for your adoring eye

Beneath a starry, knowing sky

And when the sun arose, I flew away

For lack of worthy words to say

 

How could I speak what I did not know?

And so with the current did I flow

 

So small my love to you had been

Terrified to let me in

So sad that I would struggle so…

To be loved by two, who would rather go

 

So gently into the gathered night

While still, my caged spirit fights

Keeping demons silent, at bay

Though secretly we yearned to pray

And to Hell with those who judged the cost

Sometimes I dream of what we lost