Waiting It Out

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This miasma, foul air
Vapor from the shameless exhales of chatter
Pollute my lungs with every patient breath
Leaving a residential tar more cloying
Than this cigarette, or any other
Crutch I have leaned upon

In these eyes lurk a feral glow of savagery
Are you so blind that you would smooth my jagged shape with polish
Because I’m blurry about the edges, and ill-defined?

Do you think adjusting your gaze intently
Will alter the reality of my flesh and bone?

I will meet you here naked in the golden light of dawn
Bare, shameless in my possession of flesh
This moment is mine, immersed in solitude
Yet no walls defend my gratifying silence

I would welcome the song of two heart beats dancing
While this rain whispers “yes” to every denial
Opposing each fear you unwittingly buried
Or uttered with shame in that silence you covet

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Arise

Laying here saturated, wet with dew
As dawn lends your countenance a golden hue
In the mind’s eye glistens, a devious dream
As an animal in moonlight, they furtively gleam

Hunting, watchful, I am tasting the trail
Left by the passing of those who prevailed
Reaching for depths where others have drowned
Knowing it is in ignorance that knowledge is found

This universe is greater than one mind can hold
But I will grasp the stars if I learn to be bold
Fearlessness is for fools who don’t know of demons
Bravery is for the ones who face them with reason

My sword is a pen, my shield is a page
I will fight with love and never with rage
With a heart flayed open, eyes turned to the sky
One day my spirit will learn to fly

Lost Ones, Found

Lost Ones, Found

Rain washes me clean
Though I am dry in the lee
Of this porch, of the wind
Of a past I rescind
This moment is mine
The echo, a sign
That my hollow places
Scars and traces
Are not so far behind
That they cease to bind
Although I am learning
This glorious burning
Feeds decadence and decay
The way we all pray
To our own saving grace
In our own silent place
Where we confront our story
Beside transcendence, and glory
So I write, to spite
Darkness and light
Recalling that society
And also piety
Are constructs of fear
Divinity is near
Not found in perspective
Or a comfortable elective
Your soul is your own
A struggle, wisdom grown
From all that you were
Those paths that diverged
Led you unerringly here
There is no need to fear
Be all that you are
An unnamed star
Shine alone, while those deride
For it is in solace that you reside
where you most presently become
A contribution to the sum

 

When We were Stars

Sometimes I think it would be easier if we could be alone, but alas, we are an animal that craves the comfort of its own kind. Because of this, we are constantly giving up small pieces of ourselves, and filling those empty spaces with the pieces of another. Constantly compromising ourselves for the company of others who, despite their love, are cloying and ignorant of the stars behind your eyes.

So you attempt to bank your inner fire so you don’t burn others, but in loosing the flame you have lost the heat. Desperately you reach for the warmth of another, even as your heart craves the solace of mountains.

Struggling to maintain a balance between empathy and entropy, you age slowly in the privacy of your pages, recalling the nights when you shone fiercely in the darkness, burning with prose, and others made wishes upon your light.

Let The River Take Me

To this river held in the arms of red earth
Whispering to my dreams

I thank you

When mountains crumbled and forests shook with the violence of Autumn
This river hummed those songs of bone
Of blood in my veins and my heart pumping with life

Always in the background the reverberation of flood
That drumbeat memory of ancestors and hunt
Pounding in my ears the resonant song
Of water…. Of knowing

No More Sad Songs

A breath…
The first breath, in a truly virgin body
Painful and harsh
As an infant, who, until this moment
Took only viscous fluid into their lungs

To be…
To inhale oxygen given by the trees
Reciprocating my carbon dioxide
And in this way feeling content
In my placement of Things

This chatter…
Incessantly prodding, pounding
Seeking to drown my inner dialog
With the need for whiter whites-
Be damned

The soil is strong
Verdant with decay
Feeding epiphany
Where those sleeping seeds
Sing songs I have forgotten…

Though I’m learning to remember

Backyard Reflections

IMG_0679Back yard reflections

Of a squirrel’s scolding

Or the painted crown moldings

My hands and knees black with earth

 

Wages paid in callouses

Long stretches of back road

Poetry, my heavy load

Each step a drum- beat rhythm

 

Alone, I was a mountain

Beaten by the wind

Growing thicker skin

Storm dancing, in solitude

 

Those are the moments that make you

With heart wide open, wanting

At all the world’s beauty flaunting

Leaping from your own peaks, to soar

 

A good place to learn your power

When silence begs introspection

Noting the fractal, the inflection

Teaching your ears to see and your eyes to paint

 

Yet I shall never return

To valleys of red cedar and pine

That passive state of mind

I would rather be a Tiger, than a Rose

 

 

 

*this was my view on the back porch today, and the reflections of the Lilly and the sky shimmering slightly with the wind made me… reflective.

I wrote this about my childhood in the Cascade Mountains of Washington